Hermione's True Boggart
by LoveIsAzureBlue
Summary: No one knows Hermione's REAL worst fear has nothing to do with bad grades or failing in school, and EVERYTHING to do with a certain Ginger-haired best friend. Cute little one-shot told from Hermione's POV.  Please feel free to Review.  I love reviews.


Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns the world. She just generously lets us dabble with it.

Hermione's True Boggart

_How can I face him after this? What am I going to say? How can I explain?_

I swallowed the terrified lump in my throat as I took my place at the very back of the queue – behind Harry – trying with all my might to think of something, _anything_, less embarrassing and less intimate than the true thing I feared the most.

I watched, and forced a laugh as Boggart Snape suddenly appeared in Neville's grandmother's clothes, but all the while my heart pounded painfully in my chest, wishing that Neville's Boggart was mine… or Parvatti's, or Seamus's or Dean's. Because I wasn't afraid of snakes, or mummies or Banshees. Not at all. The thing I feared the most was much closer to me - much, much more real. My darkest fear was... one of my best friends. A friend who I had found myself, just this year, feeling quite a bit more for than friendship.

It wasn't really _him_ I was afraid of… it was what he could do to me - what his Boggart form could do to me. In front of the real _him_. In front of everyone.

My heart pounded faster as the queue shortened. When the Boggart began to get confused, I felt a momentary spark of hope. _Please let it be too confused to know my real fear._

I watched as my ginger-haired best friend stepped up and the Boggart turned into a giant spider. I felt my stomach lurch… not because of the horrific eight-legged monster standing before him, but because I found even his phobia endearing. A fear carried over from a boyhood prank played on him by his brothers. How I wanted to tell him how adorable I thought his vulnerability was.

I watched the spider as my friend removed its legs and the whole class laughed. And while I was so proud of him, at that moment, I wanted only to flee from the room. Because the only person left to go before me was Harry. One more person, and then _he _would see the truth. What would he think of me once he knew it?

But then... a miracle! Harry stepped up to face the Boggart and Professor Lupin suddenly intervened, had Neville finish off the Boggart, and dismissed the class!

I was saved!

Everyone was talking excitedly about the Boggart as we left the room, and while I listened and smiled, I felt only relief. Not wanting to seem unlike myself and arouse anyone's – especially _his_ – suspicions, I interjected that I wished I could have had a chance to face the Boggart. My voice must not have sounded as false to him as it sounded to me because he made a jab about my Boggart being a piece of homework that only got 9 out of 10. I scoffed, but inwardly smiled. He knew me so well… yet not at all.

* * *

It's several months later. Finally the end of term!

I'm standing in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom listening to Professor Lupin explain our final exam, which will take place outdoors. An obstacle course of dark creatures? It sounds fascinating, if not a little odd. But I've learned so much from Professor Lupin this year, despite his hidden condition. I'm actually quite looking forward to this test.

As we approach the beginning of the test course, I'm feeling confident in my ability to get through without too much difficulty – despite my supreme exhaustion. This year has taken a toll on me both physically and emotionally – especially the terrible fight I had with _him_ mid-year; those torturous several weeks when he wouldn't speak to me except to hurl an insult. But then things got better. He forgave me for Scabbers and even hugged me (well, let me hug him)! He didn't know – no one did – that I had not yet washed the robes I was wearing that day.

I turned my attention back to the task in front of me and ran through my head everything Professor Lupin had taught us that year about Red Caps and Kappas; Grindylows and Hinkypunks. I could do this. Then, just a few more finals and I would be done! I would finally have a break and a few days of his company before we parted for what was sure to feel like an interminably long summer apart.

I took my place in the middle of the queue between Harry and my other best friend - the one whom I felt so much more for. Lupin was sending us through one at a time. I watched as each of my classmates waded across the Grindylow pond, then dealt with the Red Caps, and soon after tried to ignore the confusing directions of the Hinkypunk. Then each person disappeared into an old trunk – an old trunk that they reemerged from several moments later looking shaken but proud. I had a disturbing feeling I knew what I would face in that trunk. It was the thing I was lucky enough to avoid in class so many months earlier.

I felt a little light-headed. I had yet to actually face a Boggart, but my worst fear had not changed. If anything, it had grown more pronounced after dealing with the brutal reality of what his silent treatment really felt like.

His turn was before mine. I watched him complete his run, doing very well until he reached the Hinkypunk. Still, he managed to get though and even emerged from the trunk looking very pale and clammy, but victorious.

_I_ had no trouble dealing with the Hinkypunk, nor the Red Caps or Grindylows. But I approached the old trunk with dread in my heart and a lump in my throat. I knew what I had to do. I knew that it wasn't going to be real… but I also knew how real it would seem.

I swallowed hard and opened the lid of the trunk. A spindly ladder led a short distance down into its depths. With shaking hands and legs, I climbed into the darkness.

The inside of the trunk was lit with only a few candles, but I saw him immediately. He was standing still in a corner of the enlarged, yet still claustrophobic, trunk. He was smiling at me and I couldn't help but smile back. As soon as I smiled though, his face turned down into an ugly scowl. His expression shifted to one of utmost disgust and hatred – worse then the looks I'd even seen him give Malfoy. My stomach twisted.

"I HATE YOU, Hermione!" The Boggart suddenly shouted… and it was _his_ voice. "You're pathetic! You are a hideous, friendless, know-it-all and you are crazy if you think I EVER liked you!"

_It isn't real, it isn't real! _I repeat over and over, but tears still spring to my eyes and my breath catches in my throat. It sure _feels_ real!

The Boggart Ron approaches me. I point my wand at him but my throat is so tight and my mouth is so dry that I can't form any words. I back up against the ladder. His face is frightening in its hatred.

"I've only been pretending to be your friend all these years so I can copy your homework! I've been using you! That's all you're good for you stupid, ugly, mudblood!" Boggart Ron continued and a sob escaped my throat. "And you are insane, COMPLETELY MENTAL, if you think I could EVER love you at all!"

This was all I could take! My chest was heaving with sobs as I turned around and climbed the ladder as quickly as I could, Boggart Ron's laughter ringing behind me.

When I entered the light of the outside again, I was crying so hysterically that Professor Lupin, Harry, and Ron - the real Ron - came running over to me.

"Hermione!" Exclaimed professor Lupin taking me gently but firmly by the shoulders, "What's the matter?"

It was the question I hoped wouldn't be asked, especially with _him _standing in such close proximity. This is what I had dreaded from the first day we began learning about Boggarts – that Ron would learn the truth. That Ron would know my biggest fear was... _his rejection._

My eyes caught his over Lupin's shoulder for a split second, but it was long enough for me to see genuine caring and concern instead of their usual humor and fun. There were no teasing laugh lines around his mouth as there so often was when he made fun of my overachieving attitude.

_That's it!_

"_P...professor Mc...Gonagall. She said I f... failed everything!" _I cried, using my sobs to buy myself time while I fabricated my lie. I glanced over at Ron again. The familiar laugh-lines had instantly reappeared at my words. He believed me. Well, why wouldn't he? To him, who did not yet know my true heart, failing in school would seem like my greatest fear.

I sighed in relief, which I covered with an almighty sob.

Ron teased me and laughed about my Boggart the rest of the day. And while I pretended to be angry and hurt by his teasing, I really didn't care. I had lied, and by doing so, had avoiding the thing I truly feared the most. I hadn't scared him away and felt the sting of his rejection. I still had hope. Hope that one day his biggest fear would no longer be spiders – it would be losing _me_.

_Maybe someday._

_

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A/N: I'm not sure if Boggarts can actually talk, but I doubt it, so I know this story isn't exactly canon compliant. I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Please feel free to leave me a review. I love reviews.


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